Episode 43- Too Blessed to Stress
Stress. We all have it. I’ve been in a ragey funk since deciding to list our house on the market and move across the country.
Even though it’s what I wanted to do and what I believe is best for my family, it has still brought on a lot of stress.
But the thing about stress that most people don’t realize is that your body can’t tell the difference between the kind of stress that comes from a lion chasing you and the kind of stress caused by having to clean my house with 7 kids around.
Obviously one is more dangerous than the other, right? But our body goes into fight or flight mode either way.
One thing that can help is changing your perception about the stress you are experiencing.
Want to learn how I changed my entire mood (and breast milk supply!) this week by changing how I am viewing the stress in my current situation?
Tune in to the podcast to find out!
These are the supplements I mention in the episode:
- Moringa Powder
- Body Armor
Let’s Connect! I share tons of health tips and more behind the scenes on my social accounts.
Website
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Wednesday, I made the decision, okay, I'm not going to view any of this as, as bad or negative and I am going to change my perception of the stress that's present and I'm going to see if this makes a difference in how I'm showing up in my life. This is To The Nines podcast. I am your host Tiffany Wicks, a mom of seven who doesn't subscribe to the idea that you have to choose between your family and a career.
I am on a mission to show the stay at home mom who has lost herself in childcare and cocomelon. And the overworked corporate holdout who isn't finding joy and purpose in their career that they can work for themselves, making an impact in an income that serves your dream life. After leaving my nursing career to raise our family, I needed more mental stimulation, but didn't want to give up the privilege of raising our legacy.
I've been in network marketing now for five years. I know the strategy and mindset it takes to be successful and to live a life aligned with your values and your purpose. Join me. As I share my business tips, marketing mistakes, attitude shifts, you need to space out some time for you or ditch your nine to five completely and start working for yourself, you have the power to change your life.
Let's get started. This is just the beginning. Welcome back to the podcast, my friends, it is done. I mean, most of it is done. I mean, I don't know. I was thinking today, what is the most challenging part of moving? Is it the packing? Is it the actual moving? Um, for me right now, it has been the decluttering and the cleaning and the staging.
Like that was all incredibly challenging while raising a large family. And my husband, um, throughout his back. So that took him out for a few days. And, uh, anyway, a lot of it, you know, a lot of the times when you're Um, working in an airline industry as a family and one partner flies, the other one's kind of left with a lot of the, uh, the home life stuff.
So doing that on my own was certainly challenging, but thank you, Lord. I have an amazing realtor and she actually showed up this morning with her two teenage daughters. Um, she told me yesterday when they were doing the drone pictures outside, I'm going to bring the two girls and they're going to help like wrangle your kids and help with staging and like moving things out.
And I said, well, man, I hate to have them miss school. And she's like, Oh, we don't care about school. And I laughed, but I mean, really what she meant was both of her daughters are completely straight A students. They could probably miss an entire week of school and be fine. Um, but that's not where she had placed her value of raising children.
And, um, you know, as a real estate agent, that's basically your own business. So the girls showed up. They came. One of them held the baby for a while. I thawed out some breast milk, gave it to her so she could feed him a bottle. And then I pumped later. Um, we got the house staged. The photos were done. I even like snuck outside and got the barn all situated.
Like, it was. It was definitely a village effort, and I am completely amazed that it happened, actually got it done. Like, you guys, I was sitting on the floor last night. I didn't put this in my stories, but I was sitting on the floor with a can of paint, a baby on my boob, like, painting the wall. And I was like, wow, you just don't do this every day.
Alright, but it's done. So now we have an agent open house next week and then the actual open house, our house goes live next week, and we're still doing some negotiations on the house in Utah. We're hoping, um, there were some things found in the inspection report that were not ideal but not unmanageable.
It's going to cost the seller a little bit of money to get that, kind of a lot of money, to get all of that. It's squared away, but if they can get that all fixed properly, um, we will still buy the house. It's still a great house. And that's just what happens with homes, right? Um, sometimes they come with a little bit of challenges, but it's not challenges that aren't able to be worked with.
So, there is our house update, kids update. Let's see. How is everybody? They are all good. I need to take Nolan tonight to get these staples out of his head. If you missed that episode or my stories, um, looks like you need to pay closer attention. We'll Just kidding. Um, he put the hilt of a sword in his head.
Uh, the top of it. While he was trying to swing at branches. So, five staples later. He does need to go get those out tonight. So I will do that when I take the other kids to the gym. It's 4. 09. I need to get cracking here. We gotta be out the door at 5. 20. And I still need to prep dinner and probably put something else on.
Because I'm still walking around in pajama pants and no bra. Because that's how we roll, probably 90 percent of the time around here. Alright, my breast milk supply, you guys, took a hit. Big time. And I, nutritionally, I was doing really well. I'm eating a bunch of calories. At some point I was drinking like 200 ounces of fluids, which is a ton.
I was still thirsty, so apparently I was still dehydrated. Um, but, just tired. And thirsty, but I was hydrating 200 ounces. You guys, that is plenty of fluids, but nothing was working. I felt. stressed out because of the move and all that. Like I don't need to detail it, right? I don't need, you can imagine if you can't imagine, then I don't know, maybe pay closer attention.
Um, I said that twice, but seriously, it was just a lot. And here's the thing. Here's what I've learned about stress. That's what I'm going to talk about is not just stress by itself, but the perceived threat of stress on your life. Okay, so let's just start this off. My breast milk supply tanked. And I think a lot of that was my perception of this stress that was happening.
Like, the stress was actually there. All of that is a stressor. Having a family, stressor. Um, fasting is a stressor. stressor. If you reduce your calories, that's a stressor. Um, there are all kinds of stressors in your life and not a single one of them will create an sub optimal outcome in your body.
Generally speaking without the perception of it also being bad. So let me repeat that and let me give you some examples. So you're not like, what in the world did you just say? Um, there are actual stresses that are both perceived and actual bad for your body, right? If there is a tiger running towards you, that is actually stressful.
And the perception of the stress of the tiger running at you, like he's going to rip you apart. That would also be accurate. So your body's going to react accordingly. It is going to either freeze. It's going to run. or it's going to fight. And if you are one of those that will fight a tiger running at you, down dog.
That is impressive. I don't know what I would do. I think I would attempt to run and then if it like was gaining on me, boy, we'll turn around, man. I will smack some whiskers. Here we are. You, your body, After the initial reaction in your nervous system will go into a recovery zone where oftentimes if you've ever noticed if you've had a stressful event, both good or bad, um, you'll go into kind of a hyper, you know, hibernation period, or you will become very hungry or very thirsty, um, you will oftentimes become very sleepy after the adrenaline's run down, um, So all of that is your body attempting to go into recovery mode because it is taxing to have your body go into this nervous system overload, but that's what stress does.
So here, a study was done on people with. All kinds of stresses, your body doesn't separate them, it doesn't move like well this is a good stress, you had a baby, you guys wanted a baby, this is good, so your body won't react poorly to it. Well that one, you know, having the five dollars in your bank account, that's a bad stress, so we're just gonna, your body's gonna react to that.
It doesn't separate it. It feels the same within your body, no matter what the stressor is. However, I have learned that It makes a massive difference how your body responds based off your perception of the stress. So I did a live on instagram the other day and we talked a little bit about this and my daughter was sitting next to me and I was so glad to have her kind of join in on the conversation.
Um, And I said, like, give me an example of a stressor. And she like threw this hard ball at me, right? She's like, your dad dies. I was like, okay, can we just dial that back a little bit? I know you're 14 and there's a little bit of drama around everything in your life, but let's just, let's not do something that heavy.
Right. Um, however, I mean, we could use that as an example. You know, your father dies. Now, how did you. Perceive that level of stress of death. Was it looked at like, you know, if you're a person who has a belief system, um, that aligns with an afterlife or a heaven or something, and you believe your father was that kind of person in caliber that would be in heaven with Jesus, then, and if it weren't expected, I mean, there's just too many variables, right.
To really kind of pigeonhole that whole scenario. Um, but. You could perceive that as like, Oh my gosh, my dad is gone. It's so stressful. Now I don't have anybody to talk to. You probably do just not him. Um, or you just can't hear his response like verbally, like you can hear my voice right now. Um, but you can still talk, right?
If you're a praying person, you're talking all the time, or at least you ought to be in your mind or in your body and your soul, like however that's working out for you. Um, you can still do that, but your perception of his death is going to impact your body differently than the actual death itself. Okay.
I think in a roundabout way, this is what I'm trying to get at is I was looking at everything and we're going to go back to my breast milk because it's important. Not, you know, it's important to the entire, um, episode content today to try and put this into context. I was really viewing all of this as a massive stress to my body.
I was like, Oh my gosh. And was I tired? Absolutely. Still am actually. I am really tired today, but I think I made the decision. To yesterday? Was that yesterday? Oh my gosh, it feels like 80 years ago already. Yesterday, when I talked about the perception of stress on your body, I made the decision that I was Nope, it wasn't yesterday.
It was on Wednesday. Wednesday, I made the decision. Okay, I'm not going to view any of this as bad or negative and I am going to change my perception of the stress that's present and I'm going to see if this makes a difference in how I'm showing up in my life. Like, I was angry. I was yelling at the kids for dumb stuff, for just being kids.
I mean, I brought the two little ones to a nanny down the street. And, uh, Helen asked me, why are we going over there? And I said, listen, baby, I don't want to scream at you for being three. Like you're three. I can't expect you to be big. And right now there's a lot going on. So I need you to have a safe place to just be three right now.
And she was like, Oh, okay. I don't know that she actually understood it, but it helped me to understand how I was reacting, um, was. I think the greater majority of what was wrong in the whole scenario. It wasn't that anything in particular was wrong. It was a ton of work to stage this house and do all the things I mentioned earlier, but she needed space to be three.
And I didn't need to be stressing her body out by getting all worked up over her threeness. All right. And you know, the baby, I am. incredibly patient with infants. Um, and I start to lose that when they get big enough to talk back to you and say no and scream and do all the things. However, I work on it like all the time.
I think I'm better than most, but as always, I am human and I am fallible and I prove it every single day, but I work hard every day too. So, two days ago I decided, made a decision, okay. I didn't, none of the stress was removed in my life. Not a single one. In fact, my husband was gone. Um, not that he was a stress removed.
Um, but, I only say that, someone's gonna take that the wrong way. Um, only to say that I didn't have any stress. Additional help here, right? So my realtor showed up with help. The big kids helped a ton. The younger kids did what they could to be helpful. Even if that was just go outside, um, they ended up like building this.
house and it was great. They were playing out in nature and they were kind of staying out of the way. And at that point, that was the most helpful thing they could do is just stay out of the way while everybody else who was more capable got things done. I changed how I perceived the stress and said, this is all good because this is all working us toward the end goal, which is living up in the mountains in Utah.
And that's where we want to go. I immediately felt my body released. And I got really, really tired the last couple of days and my hunger cues are still not present a whole lot. Like I fasted today until almost 1 p. m. That was not the plan, but I just did not have the space to eat, um, because I needed to get the kitchen perfect for pictures.
So I'm still working on getting my hunger cues back on board. Um, I added a few extra things to my regimen to help my milk supply. And you guys, today I pumped an ounce extra out of each breast. That is amazing. That is, and I attribute it to changing my decision on how I was going to perceive stress in my life and adding a few extra supplemental stuff.
And I'll just tell you what it is. Okay. Body armor. I got the low calorie, no added sugar one and a Guinness. Yes. The beer. So, and I added the other day is called Moringa. M O R I N G A. We'll link it in the comments. Moringa powder. I blend that up with my matcha in the afternoon and put just a little bit of stevia and then blend it with some hot water and then I put a splash of oat milk in there.
It's become an afternoon favorite of mine. Um, and I think it's really helped me stay super healthy throughout all of this. Uh, both perceived and actual stressful time of getting my house ready for sale. Um, anyhow, the Moringa powder, a, I drank a Guinness last night and two power. Gosh, darn it. Why do I keep trying to say powerade?
Um, two body armors last yesterday. And today there was an ounce extra on both sides, both times that I've pumped. I am shocked, amazed, grateful, and I think also in part the decision to not view this as a negative or heavy or, you know, anything else, just view the stress that I have as a blessing, I think allowed my body to open up.
So let's shitty chitty chat chat cortisol levels because I have clients that talk about their cortisol levels. I, you know, listen, cortisol levels are supposed to be. Higher in the morning, they're supposed to drop, and then they're supposed to get higher again in the afternoon to get you up and moving again to finish out the rest of your day.
Now, if you leave your body in a state of perceived stress long enough, then your cortisol levels are going to remain high because your body's like, Well, if we're stressed out, then we need to get the heck up out of here. And so, They will eventually become less effective in getting you up out of your own bed and moving along with your day.
So if you are a person, along with a host of other things that you could talk about at the, you know, end of day procedures to put yourself to bed at night, if you are having a hard time waking up in the morning, that might be part of it. Is you have perceived your stress throughout the day as being damaging, negative, um, even if it is in fact, Actually negative, your perception of that negativity will impact how your body reacts to the actual stressor itself.
So go back to where your parents, grandparents, grandparents at this point taught you don't sweat the small stuff, you know, the posters, don't worry, be happy. I mean, there's a lot of truth to that. You really do just have to let it go. Figure out what are your, what are the deal busters in your life? Like if this happened.
It would be devastating. Like I know what mine are and I'm not even going to speak them out into the universe because I don't want to manifest some shiz that'll put me off the reservation right now. All I know is, I am grateful every single day, A, that I woke up, and B, that all seven of my kids woke up, and that they are all healthy, to the best of my knowledge.
Nolan's got some stuff going on right now, but, um, we think he might have an egg allergy, like an undiagnosed egg allergy. That's a whole different thing. Anyway, but we think that's going on. Um, and that my husband woke up, and he is, for the most part, healthy. We've got some help going on, um, with him. I think he's like a natural, he's some sort of physiologist, like movement guy.
Um, I don't know his exact title, but he's helping Adam with his, um, like tension and imbalance in his whole body. Um, which is what through has thrown his back out multiple times. So really hopeful that that's going to help him. But for the most part, like everybody's waking up happy, healthy. Well balanced.
Um, he still loves me. I still love him. We still have a great marriage and gosh, that is not something to take lightly. I feel like I could quite literally lose everything else in this world. I could lose our nice house. I could lose our income. Um, and none of that would matter to me as long as I have those eight people.
And even if I didn't, I mean, I really have to open that up. Like even if I didn't, it would be devastating. But. I would find joy in the day and I would have to move on because there are other people in my family, my immediate family who need me to be happy, healthy, and at least working on being whole. No one expects you to show up every day being the whole and best version of yourself, but can you at least be working on it?
Can you be trying? Can you be making strides toward that? Because the world needs that. You need that. Your family needs that truly. So there it is. My breast milk supply did increase. And I think those things I mentioned had everything to do with it. So listen, if you're going through a stressful time, try to reframe it.
I mean, try to put it through a lens that says, okay, how can this be good for me? How can this help me grow? I mean, I now I'm like, yes, this, I can see how this is helping me grow as a mother, as a person, as a business owner, um, showing up, getting the thing done. Uh, my husband sent me the most Awesome text.
And you guys, my love language is words of affirmation. You can't, I love fresh flowers, but it is not gifts. So he doesn't typically just bring me gifts. There's a lot of pilot spouses who are like, he better come home from France with, you know, some 80th leather bag they've gotten. It would just tickle them.
It doesn't, it doesn't do it for me. Like, I have one purse. It cost me about 30 through, um, it was an MLM, actually. I don't even remember what it's called now. Um, it's not even meaningful enough to me that I don't even remember. It's just a, it's a purse. It's a basic leather, brown, it's not even real leather.
It's fake as hell. But it holds all my crap, okay, that I have to have on a daily basis, and I tote it around. I have had it for probably 10 years. And it's the only one I own. The only one. My point is, he sent me a text that said, Look, I know this is going to be a lot for you, but I trust that you're going to handle our children expertly throughout this entire thing.
I wish I could be there to help you, but you know what? I know you and I know you've got this. I love you and I'll miss you. Let me tell you, that was like fuel. It was life giving to me to have him love me in a way that I recognize the most, which is being valued. That was him saying you are valuable and you are needed and you are capable and I trust you.
And I love you. You've got this. And when he has my back and he says, I know you've got this. I'm like, yeah, I do. Even if I was doubting a little bit, but I'm like, Hey, look, if he thinks I've got this, then I've got this. My perception of everything changed when I knew that he had that, that he had my back.
So there you go, guys, stress. It is everywhere. You are not going to escape it. Okay. So you better change the way you think about it. If you want to live a happy. Healthy and wholesome life. All right. That is all for today. I cannot wait to get back with you guys next week. I hope you are feeling loved, valued above all else.
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