Episode 42- Theft, Integrity, and Entrepreneurship
We have a lot on our plates as we prepare for our move out west. We're preparing our home to list on the market and it got me thinking about integrity. It seems not many people have it these days.
There are a few minor issues with our house that I feel determined to fix before listing it for sale as a matter of integrity. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night knowing I sold a home with a leaky roof to an unsuspecting buyer.
I didn't always have the most integrity. This week, I share a story from my teenage years involving theft, but that actually shows my true entrepreneurial spirit that I possessed even at a young age.
Let’s Connect! I share tons of health tips and more behind the scenes on my social accounts.
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Stop asking yourself if this is the right decision. There are no right decisions. There is only trade offs. I'm going to give up this so that I can gain this. Will that be the right trade off? I don't know. And you may never know, but well, I mean, you will know eventually, but you may not know right then.
This is To The Nines Podcast. I am your host, Tiffany Wicks, a mom of seven who doesn't subscribe to the idea that you have to choose between your family and career. I am on a mission to show the stay at home mom who has lost herself in childcare and Cochamelon, And the overworked corporate holdout who isn't finding joy and purpose in their career that they can work for themselves making an impact and an income that serves your dream life.
After leaving my nursing career to raise our family, I needed more mental stimulation, but didn't want to give up the privilege of raising our legacy. I've been in network marketing now for five years. I know the strategy and mindset it takes to be successful and to live a life aligned with your values and your purpose.
Join me as I share my business tips, marketing mistakes, attitude shifts you need to space out some time for you, or ditch your nine to five completely and start working for yourself. You have the power to change your life. Let's get started. This is just the beginning.
Welcome back to the podcast. Oh boy. It has been an eventful week. Like 12 hours over here, my oldest son had to be taken to the urgent care and get five staples put in his head because with his first paycheck, he thought he, it would just be a great idea. If you've been on my social, you saw he bought a legit sword, like King Arthur style Conan, the destroyer.
I don't know, but. He's like, he was so proud of the purchase and I'm like, all right, man, I get it. You're 16. Okay. Um, you need to be very careful with this thing. And he's like, yeah, yeah. Okay. Well, yesterday he's walking around with it slung across his back and he's feeling like the big cheese and, uh, he's outside swinging at branches.
And, um, he's like, yeah, yeah. Okay. Pulled the sword up over his head and jammed the hilt into the top of his head. So I'm like, Hey, where are you doing? I'm like trying to push him along. Cause that's what we've had to do with him. His whole life was, uh, Hey, what are you doing? We need to be working on Eagle Scout stuff.
You need to work on your driver stuff. He's got his driver's test next week. Y'all driving. His own car and he is not ready. He has not done the things he needs to do to finish all the like paperwork stuff. Like you have to take this course through our insurance company, this thing called Joshua's law.
I'm assuming Joshua is a young man that died driving. Um, and they created some law saying kids have to have 40 hours of, um, Like classroom instruction and homeschool kids are allowed to do, um, like virtual. So he's got to do that. He's got this drug and alcohol thing. That's going to take two hours. Um, he's got schoolwork and this is not a dude that is terribly motivated.
Um, to he'll, he will, and people are like, your kid's not just going to sit there and stare at a wall. Yes. Yes, he will. He will stare at a wall for an hour and just do nothing. I mean, I can't identify. My body and brain is going a million miles a minute. You know, a million times a day. But, anyway, moving on.
He's a great dude. Great kid. Love him dearly. But, he jammed the Hilt of the sword into his head. So last night we were at the urgent care, or I sent my husband . I was usually, I do the medical stuff, but I'm like, I'm over it. You go, um, he's gonna get some staples or glue or stitches or something. 'cause when I looked at it I was like, well, that's not closing on its own.
Um, and he was just sitting up in his room with a paper towel. Holding on to his head, trying to stop the bleeding. Like, he didn't say anything to anybody. I think he was probably a little too embarrassed. But nonetheless, Adam was so mad. He was out front painting. Um, we're, you know, we're trying to get our house on the market.
Have you guys been following? Like, we're trying to move to Utah. But then to add insult to injury, like, The home inspector did the inspection on the house in Utah and there is some concerning things about the home. So now we're kind of back in negotiations. Like, Hey, we kind of need you guys to do this.
Like we're not trying to buy a poop burger over here of a home. Um, it should be done. Everything should be done right and ready to move in and not have any issues. And that's not where the house stands right now. So, And there's very little in terms of inventory in the area we want to live. So at this point, I'm not even sure if we're going to have this house or not.
Meanwhile, we have another 1, 600 repair to do on our own home, um, to get it on the market, and we are not going to. Okay, so here's one thing you need to know about Adam and I, is I think that we are a unique breed in a lot of different ways, but in as much as saying, I think that we have a particular degree of integrity that a lot of people don't possess.
The issue right now with the flashing and the gutters and the roof, We could just like skim right over that and a home inspector may not even find it because they're not looking for it. Well, we found an issue in terms of how our water was being routed around our home And we called somebody in and he's like, well, this is what it is.
Um And we can't not address it. It's like, if we know we can't not do something about it and we can't not do it the right way. Okay. So all the way from like, Oh, this, you know, board underneath your deck is slightly rotted. We could just put some filler and go over it. I'm like, no, we will not. We will replace the board.
And I know it's going to cost more, but I just, I can't, I can't do it. My integrity. Means everything to me. And when I lay my head down at night, I have to know that I have done good in this world by myself, for my kids and for the people I serve. So that's, what's going on right now is staples, uh, issues with both houses.
I mean, the issue with our house is not really an issue. It's just another thing we have to have fixed. We're just going to get it done and move on. So, um, you know, today it's like, I just want to go back a little bit and talk about all the times where there was never a right answer to what we do or what we did or what I've done.
There, and I'm learning this more and more is there are never any right answers. There are only trade offs. So, you know, I could rewind my life all the way back to, was it the right answer to, you know, move out immediately when I was 17 and 18. Well, I didn't really have a choice. My parents made it very clear in no uncertain terms that we were to be out of their lives and I don't, okay, I might be exaggerating because we don't have a great relationship about out of their lives.
Maybe they wanted to see us. Once a decade. And I'm actually not being dramatic about that. The last time I saw my family was when I drove six kids out there at the time, um, three years ago. Okay. My parents don't make an effort to come see us. My twin sister did. Um, she actually dragged three of her kids with her on the airplane and came here to visit us a couple of Christmases ago, but I mean, she's got young kids.
She's in school. She's got a sick husband that she's caring for, who at this point is terminal. So, you know, she's got a lot going on and I mean, girlfriend gets things done and I'm just so impressed with her. Uh, my parents don't really have an excuse other than they just don't want to. I mean, that's the answer.
They just don't want to, it doesn't fit within, you know, is it right? Or is it wrong? Well, there's just trade offs in life, right? They do not want to trade off their free time, expenses, stuff like that to come see us. We are not worth the trade off to them. Okay. I mean, you could get butt hurt over it. You could let it control your mind.
All that, but like, why, why would you let it take up any more residents in your mind than it needs to? So as a kid, I always knew that we were expected to get out. My parents wanted to live their own life. I doubt they ever actually wanted to be parents. So as soon as we were 18, we knew we needed to be out.
So I did. Um, it was like, was it right? Or was it wrong? It doesn't matter. It, it was just a trade off. They were willing to trade. Out, um, like further parenting and mentorship for something else that they desired. So that left me in a position where it was like, okay, I'm working full time. Um, and I had been working full time since I was 14 years old.
My kids still like, how, why, huh? Like, yeah, as soon as I was 14, I was expected to get a job. Um, I was expected to contribute financially to the home because my parents had managed to. Accumulate. an awful lot of consumer debt and gambling debt. So I had to contribute the money that I earned to help get them out of debt and not lose our home.
And you know, it's like, I didn't really have a choice. I was a 14 year old kid at that point. So they just took it. And if I said no and hired, You know, I would hide my tip money wherever I could. Um, I was working at a restaurant and, um, my dad would find it and he would take, you know, a hundred dollars, $200, whatever it was.
So there was, there was a trade off there. It was like, okay, I couldn't not do that or I wouldn't have a house to live in. Um, and then I had been homeless at one point as a teenager. Um, that's for a different episode where my parents did kick me out of the house and I ended up in a, um, homeless shelter.
Uh, when I was 15, uh, 14, 15 timeframe, and, um, I had everything stolen from me. Well, I guess I'm going to talk about it now. I had everything stolen from me. I got beaten up in between a couple of Coke machines by a couple of rough girls that were also in the house. Um, the shelter would give me a quarter every morning to take the bus, um, back to my high school.
And right around that time is when I was like, wow, this, Kind of sucks. Um, I really want something different in my life. So I started making different choices. I started owning, you know, first off what I had done wrong in my own life, which, you know, when you're, when you're a misguided kid who was not loved and respected and valued in your own home, like you can make some pretty terrible decisions.
And although yes, my own teenager who is loved, valued and respected in his home, you know, he was starting down a road of. Making some choices that were a little sus, you know, we were able to turn that around very quickly because we recognize like, okay, he needs, he needs a little bit of different approach and our oldest son, he's just, he's always been an independent kid who, um, has never taken to directive leading.
Okay, you have to be a person of high character and high moral regard. Um, and you have to be somebody he wants to follow. Okay. You will not harness and saddle this kid. You will show through your own level of leadership. And he will either follow or he won't. And you can't make him do anything. And I'm learning more and more like you can't make anyone really do anything, but that that's what it's like in the business world too.
Right. I can't make anyone purchase my nutrition and fitness program. I can lead. I can show by example. I can do the hard thing every single day, right or wrong. It's going to be a trade off. Everything is. Um, but that's what it's about, right? Life is about showing exemplary leadership in every area that matters to you.
So fast forward, I did end up getting back into my home eventually. And, you know, at that point, I think it was just an agreed upon, like, you're going to do your thing. We're going to do ours, stay out of jail and get out when, as soon as you turn 18. So I graduated when I was 17. Um, and that would have been like May, June timeframe.
Um, and I turned 18 right after there and it unknown in no uncertain terms. I was to be out. So I was, so I had a full time job. I started going to college, um, trying to get my prerequisites done. And it was about then that, you know, I realized I needed, okay, I couldn't, I couldn't, I didn't have the time. Um, and I couldn't afford to do that anymore.
I needed some help somewhere. So I did the next logical thing as I went to the military. So there I was, um, At that point, I had made it about two years in college of taking prerequisites and working full time, um, before I knew I need I just needed some help. And naturally, my parents were not willing to offer that in any way.
So, not that I asked. I mean, at this point, I wouldn't ask them for a life preserver if I were drowning. Um, because I don't trust it would be given to me. Um, that trust was broken a long, long time ago. And when you get to a point where you've had trust broken over and over and over and over again, it is incredibly difficult to repair.
Um, and although I love my parents in the broad meaning of the term, like they're my parents, I don't think you ever not. Love your parents, even the parents who are the absolute worst and they weren't the absolute worst. There have been worse in this world. Like I was not molested by my parents. Um, I was abused, but, um, you know, they see it as, uh, corrective controlling.
And, um, I just don't agree. Um, however, It is what it is, right? So there was a trade off for that too. There are a degree of corrective controlling and, um, as they called it, discipline slash punishment. There was a trade off to that. And the trade off to that is I don't trust them and we are not close. So I'll have them over for Thanksgiving.
Our relationship is very surface level and I'm okay with that, but I would never send my kids there to spend a summer with them. Never. Because I know how I was treated and I wouldn't put them into a position that they could possibly be treated the same way. Oh, there's a thunderstorm happening right now.
I'm guessing Helen's about to barge in here, screaming. We shall see. Alright, so fast forward, trade offs in life. So, there was another trade off I had to make. Is, okay, I didn't want to not go to college. That was the only way I saw a way out. as a path out of the life of poverty and abuse and neglect. And I had to do something.
So college is where I look toward. I'm like, well, important people who make money, they go there. So I'm going to find a way to go there. So, you know, after trying to get through the first couple of years without student loans, I took a student loan to get through some semesters. I just couldn't afford it anymore.
So I went to the air force again, another trade off. Was it the right decision? I don't know. I mean, you never do know there is no right decision. There's only a trade off. So I traded off a portion of my life so that I could go to the air force and help earn some extra money, um, do something that I felt valuable and needed in a position, um, that I felt was important.
I felt like being part, being in the air force to me was being part of a mission that was greater than myself. And now that I know myself so much better at 41 years old, I A lot better than I did at 20. Um, now I know, like, that's just part of who I am. That's just part of my character, is that I want to be of value.
I want to help. I want to love people. And I want to help elevate people. Um, yeah. When they're down and I want to be the person, if nobody's told you yet that you are valuable and that you can do amazing things and that, yeah, it's going to be difficult, but who cares? You're capable of it. Like if you woke up today and you have breath in your lungs and your legs, even if your legs don't move, I mean, your fingers can move, right?
There's amazing things you can do from the internet friends. If you don't have anyone speaking that level of life into you, let me be that person today. Let me just tell you how beautiful and amazing you are and that how beautiful and amazing God sees you. And maybe you are not amazing right now. Maybe you are a total crap head of a human.
Stop it, change it, turn it around and be better. Do you know how many times I've told my kids be better because you can, I'm not telling them they're worthless. I'm saying the way you are right now, you can change that. Be better. So moving on with the air force. You know, I was doing my Air Force thing and I loved it.
I was, um, you know, a part timer and then I went back to school, got some help with the financial side of it. So I was back in school. I'm doing the full time working, you know, full time or not full time but part time Air Force work. I had moved to a different state. Yes, I chased after a boy. Praise the Lord.
It is not the guy I ended up marrying, but had I not chased that guy to, uh, Georgia of all places where I live now, didn't see that one coming. Talk about curve balls in life. Um, had I not chased that guy over here and, oh my gosh, please don't chase anybody. Follow. So anyway, chased him, followed him, however you want to say it.
My first big heartbreak of my whole life was that guy. I don't, I've never been heartbroken like I was, but man, was that an important lesson? Again, a valuable lesson and trade off. Was it right to move to Georgia? I don't know, to follow this guy. I don't know. It seems right to me because that's where I met Adam, my amazing, incredible husband of the last 18 years.
So again, I was willing to trade off the discomfort of moving to a new place. You guys, I was born and raised in Alaska. Did you know that in Alaska? We don't really know, maybe older people do, but at the time I was 20 years old and I still didn't know. This is so embarrassing. I didn't know how to read a map.
Like if you were to give, and back then for all the youngins that might be listening back then, we had maps. Okay. You had to like print it out. We didn't have a smartphone that was like plug in your directions and it'll tell you, take a right, take a left that that didn't exist. It was a map. You had to go on an internet site, and you had to download, uh, like put in your directions, you had to print that B out, alright?
And you had to like, look at it while driving. Talk about distracted. Y'all, it's never changed. It's just become something different. So, I was like, I don't even know what a highway was. I didn't know what an interstate was. I didn't know the road signs. Because in Alaska, you didn't need it. You had ocean on one side, mountain on the other.
You were either going north or south. That is all. That is all. It was easy. You weren't going east or west or you were heading into the mountains or you were heading into the ocean. You pick! So, driving to Georgia from Alaska. Was massive for me. I had never done anything like that before, and it was very uncomfortable.
And I had to sign, you know, I signed my own rental agreement. I lived on my own, although I followed the boy here. I did not live with him. That was way outside of my personal character level. So he lived in the dorms. I lived on my own. It didn't take but a month before that guy was humping everything in the town.
Uh, while I went TDY, uh, TDY is temporary duty, um, with the military and we were broken up. You know, there it was. I had come all that way, I'd moved, I'd gotten rid of everything I'd owned, I'd thrift store bought everything in my tiny little one bedroom apartment, and my boyfriend was no longer my boyfriend, so I was now in Georgia, by myself, alone, working, going to school, and doing my military time.
With no friends, no boyfriend, no family support.
The story ends happily. Clearly I have, I did meet my husband at the restaurant. Actually, I should share our meeting story on another podcast. I think maybe I should have Adam on here and we should share the meeting story because it is the sweetest thing. I think anyway, I was a little aggressive. But all's well that ends well.
Um, he is my guy. So, trade offs. So, we could, you know, fast forward like 20 years of our life now, practically. And here we are, getting ready to do this big move. The house has got some issues with the inspection that we're supposed to be buying in Utah. We're trying to work that out with renegotiations. We have another expense here that we're doing.
They're, the kids are feeling the stress, something fierce right now. And our little girl, Helen, she is acting absolutely insane about 99 percent of the day. And we are really working our patience level because she is only three and she's already, you know, three year olds or three year olds. If you've ever had one, you know that they are a totally different species.
And you know, my oldest son, he's got a lot right now that he's trying to get wrapped up before we leave. And everybody in some way is feeling the stress of selling a house, buying a house, moving and having a baby all in the same 12 month time period. So listen, if you're having a rough time. You might ask yourself, is this even, is this the right decision?
No one knows. Okay. So I think, and I've said this a hundred times on this podcast, but I really think it's valuable and worth repeating. Stop asking yourself if this is the right decision. There are no right decisions. There is only trade offs. I'm going to give up this so that I can gain this. Will that be the right trade off?
I don't know. And you may never know. But well, I mean, you will know eventually, but you may not know right then. Like right now we have no idea whether the trade off of leaving our home that we've been in for the last seven years that we've renovated, um, almost from top to bottom. There's only one area of this house we have not renovated to make it our own with our own style and our own character reflection.
I don't know if the trade off is going to be worth it. I'm just putting our faith into what we do know. We do know we love the West. We do know we love mountains, the area. I mean, family is really big in Utah. Obviously they have a very large LDS population and those people love their family and their community pretty hard.
So. I think it's going to be great. I think the trade off will be worth it. Um, and another thing like moving yourself, do you buy a moving service or do you move yourself? There is no right answer to that either. I mean, financially there's, you know, a fairly large gap in between the two, but again, You get back to the old school pros and cons list.
What are you willing to give up to gain? Or what are you willing to gain that you are willing to let go of? Because you're going to have to let go of something always. And it better be something that isn't as worth it to you as what you stand to potentially gain. Right. All right. Um, this is right about 20 minutes, so I'm gonna wrap it up.
Um, there is so much more I could say. I didn't even really come into this podcast having a particular agenda, but a lot of you have commented to me and dmd that you like to hear my backstory. You like to hear where I came from. Um, so if this is something you're loving, learning who I was before, I am who I am today, because by the way, in five years, who I am going to be is going to be different than who I am today.
If you are a person who is not ever evolving, changing, growing, and adapting, you are almost dead spiritually. You have got to find a way to evolve yourself. And I'm not saying at all that you've got to. Let go of any type of, um, like moral or ethical convictions. I mean, I talked about earlier that, I mean, there are repairs that are going to need to be done at this house that we are not willing to sacrifice, um, our moral and ethical character to do it cheaply and quickly.
Like we're going to spend the 1, 600 and we're going to do the damn thing, right? Because I can't go to bed at night. Knowing that I didn't write that level of character quality is never going to change in my life. It never has, and it never will. I, the only part of my life that my character could easily be called into question was those early teenage years where I was a thief, for sure.
Um, you could argue that's where I got my entrepreneurial flair from. I'll tell you, cause you're like, wait, what? Here's what I used to do. I can't believe I'm saying this on a podcast. All right. So I was about a freshman in high school and, uh, there were a lot of kids that smoke cigarettes. Now people vape, but back then cigarettes were kind of a big deal.
Um, I had begun smoking cigarettes as well. It's gross. Don't do it. But I did. And I was like, you know what? There's a lot of people around here that want cigarettes. I wonder if I could. sell it to them, right? Because you couldn't buy cigarettes then. I don't even know what the legal age to buy cigarettes are now, but then it was 19.
You had to be 19 years old and we were nowhere near 19. We were like 13 and 14 freshmen in high school. And I was like, okay, I think I know how to do this. So I went up to the corner store and at the time they had, they usually, they use primary bags, Primarily, like if you were to buy a beverage or a snack or whatever, they would put it in a small paper sack that they kept right on the countertop.
Like they stacked up really nicely. If they were to get a plastic bag with the handles, they had to go under the counter, cause that's where they were held at the gas station, like convenience store, they would go under there and then, you know, you have to like. Wet the plastic to peel it off. Like we do it all the time with self checkout now, but back then that was not a thing.
So he'd have to go under the counter. He or she would go under the counter to get the plastic bag with the handles. So I would walk in and I had my backpack and, uh, I would say, Hey, uh, Oh, and by the way, back then they also had the cigarettes just sitting right up front at the counter, like right where the register is.
You didn't have, they weren't under lock and they're probably under lock and key now because of me, but they are now under lock and key behind cashiers. Um, and you have to ask for them anyway, back then they weren't, they were just right there in front. So you could grab a pack of smokes, lay them on the counter and pay for them.
Well, I had no intention of paying for them because I was an entrepreneur. I was going to make a profit. Um, so I would. Ask for a plastic bag. This is so horrible. Oh my gosh, but I'm gonna air my sins right now I would ask for a plastic bag under the guise that I was going around picking up trash. How horrible was was I?
I would say hi. Can I get a plastic bag? I would buy like a soft drink or something and back then What were they like 55 cents or something? I would say hey, can I get a plastic bag for that? I'm gonna drink my Soda and I'm going to go around and pick up trash. And they were like, Oh my gosh, how wholesome.
So they go under the counter. And as soon as they put their heads under the counter, I would swipe like five or six packs of cigarettes, throw them in my backpack, put the bag back on my shoulder. They would come out with a couple of plastic is one or two good for you. I'm like, Oh yes, I'll pick up a lot of trash and clean up our area with that.
They would give me the plastic bags. I would leave, I would go back to school. And at the time I, I mean, it didn't matter cause I wasn't buying it, but I think packs of smokes then were like two ish dollars, two or three dollars. I would sell the cigarettes one stick at a time for 25 cents each. Y'all there were, what is there 22 cigarettes in a pack?
I don't even know anymore, but I would sell each one for 25 cents. And if somebody was really desperate and I knew that their parents were rich, I would charge them 50 cents because you know, supply and demand, I got that early. And by the way, that is one class. I. Aced and got an award in was economics. So there you go.
That's where my entrepreneurial journey started. It's riddled with theft, lying, and, you know, ethical questioning, but as a desperate and misguided teenager, that is where it went. So not proud of it. Just sharing my journey. And with that, I will let you guys get back to the rest of your day. Um, but do tell me, do you like this part of the podcast?
Do you like hearing, uh, my backstory and how that developed into the person I am and the lessons I've learned from it? Um, because there's a lot. And Oh, by the way, my daughter just suggested probably the best book title. ever for my upcoming, um, I don't know if it's a memoir or a personal whatever. It's about my journey of life and how God was peeking through every single hard time.
And there were a lot that I haven't even touched on here. Um, and I haven't even touched on it in social, mostly because I'm trying to figure out where that relevance fits in for you. Like, I don't want to just tell you my story just to tell it. I want it to help you, in some way, live a better life, or accomplish more than you thought you could.
Uh, it, it does me no good. Like, this isn't therapy for me. Um, but, if it helps you, I'll tell you about it. So at any rate, excellent. Book title. And I cannot wait to share it with you as always. Make sure you're following me on social. That's where a lot of the stuff is happening. Um, mostly Instagram.
Facebook has a little bit of a different feel because it's a little bit more personal. Instagram is definitely more business. So go to both places. Follow me there. If you haven't yet subscribed to my YouTube channel, uh, we are going to be taking a break this summer. With the podcast and with the frequent emails.
So I send out an email every single week, um, for all of my email subscribers. And that's generally where a lot of information gets disseminated that maybe doesn't get done here. It doesn't get done on the social channels. So make sure you're subscribed to that. Um, that's very easy to do. We'll put the link in the comments for you.
And I've got some new downloadables. that are going to be available to you and they are 100 percent um, nutrition related. And I'm really excited for you to guys to get your hands on those because they're going to be so valuable. I asked people, what do you need most? And this is exactly what they said they needed.
So go to my website, www. tiffanywix. com. And cruise around there. Click on all the things and make sure you get the downloads that will help you. Make sure you get on my email list. Make sure you subscribe to my YouTube channel. And that is the channel I will be keeping updated all throughout the summer while my assistant, um, Maggie has her baby and adjusts to being a mama of three.
Um, we are all going to take a little sabbatical this summer. We're going to be moving, so it's going to be busy, but that's where I'm going to upload all of my content pretty much is going to be through YouTube. So make sure you're subscribed and, um, I love you lots. I really mean it. And I hope you guys are going to have a fantastic rest of your week.
And, uh, can't wait to talk to you soon. All right. Ciao guys.